why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
