I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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