You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
