I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
