Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
