How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
