his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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