I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
