Can Purell be used as lube?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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