Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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