Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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