Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
