Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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