and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
