Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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