i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
not ubering you a puppy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
God, I missed his penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
