he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
