.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
