it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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