this boner is exhausting
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
