If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
