Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
