If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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