So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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