So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my shit smells like andre
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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