I skipped work to stalk him.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My balls are so social today.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
