erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
