i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
