we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The Olympian is in my bed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
