We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't deserve a penis
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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