wrigley field is MILF paradise
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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