After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
