just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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