oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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