Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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