ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
