I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
