All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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