My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
