THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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