And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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