Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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