I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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