Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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