it wasn't lemon gatorade
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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