Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
