just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
false alarm, still single
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
