He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
