Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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