Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
