Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
