i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
