That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
