I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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