If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
