I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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