Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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