you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
