Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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