...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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