We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
