She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
