I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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