he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You are a genius and a whore.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
