it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
