sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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