If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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