Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Too much gin, very little bucket
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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