is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
